The project is an attempt at retrospection and an exploration of whether causality was inevitable in the protagonist's case. The artist takes on a challenging task – trying to understand what in his protagonist's body originates from himself and what is tainted by disease and trauma. In a symbolic way, he reconstructs the spaces and imaginings that define his identity.  

 

The protagonist has always felt out of place, as if he was born in the wrong place and time. He grew up in a small town in southern Poland during the 1980s. His mother, overprotective and authoritarian, fearing moral downfall, sent him to serve as an altar boy. Despite his initial reluctance, the priest eventually agrees to accept the boy. Over time, the boy becomes the priest's favorite – treated with sweets and wine, he finds a friend and an authority figure in him.  

 

One day, in the sacristy, this illusion is brutally shattered. The priest crosses a boundary, and the scent of cheap cologne permanently embeds itself in the protagonist's memory. This memory haunts him for years, especially when, in 2002, he arrives in Warsaw, hoping for a fresh start. A random encounter with a passerby triggers a cascade of traumatic images – the scent of perfume instantly recalls the sacristy and the abuse.  

 

His life becomes a complex interplay of conflicting themes: sexuality, faith, illness, and the need for acceptance. As an adult, he confronts the diagnosis of HIV, trying to understand what comes from his own body and what was imposed upon him. His identity becomes a battleground between shame, guilt, and the attempt to reclaim his own narrative.  

 

Through the project, the artist attempts to capture this process – examining the protagonist’s body as a carrier of trauma and resistance. The spaces of the city and the church are deconstructed to reveal the complexity of memories and emotions. It is an effort to answer the question of whether the past was unavoidable and how trauma shapes one’s future.